Sometimes I feel like I am perfectly “normal and healthy”. I wonder why I am not at work…I wonder why I am not driving my car… I wonder why I am not taking a walk by myself. When I am in the hospital, I look at other patients, on the cancer unit, and sometimes feel like I do not belong. I may have 4 various bags running into me, but other patients may have 6 bags running into them. I can walk around independently although others require 2-3 people to assist them to walk a few steps…
There are other times, when the side effects from the treatment remind me that I have a disease …and the outcome of that disease is still unknown. In my life, I have taken an occasional medication but have never needing any ongoing medications, except supplements/vitamins. Now, my world revolves around medications… “did you take your medicine?” …. thinking about where I am going and do, I need to take my medication with me, so I make sure to take it timely??!! I have had horrible muscle aches/soreness. Tired…sometimes I feel like I could sleep all day and all night. Stomach cramps and nausea. Knee pain. Constipation or diarrhea that must just run its course because taking any medications will just result in the opposite result. Thinning hair. Eye pain and headache. Eyes feel like they have a heavy coat of Vaseline on them and they just burn. Headache. Just when I start feeling better it is time to return to the hospital for another treatment. Considering some people have much worse side effects, it is easy to see why people give up a stop treatment.
My next treatment, August 31st, will include an MRI of my brain to see if the treatment continues to be effective.
September 14th I will have a CT scan to check out the “area” found on my lung and an ultrasound of my thyroid to check on the “area” found there.
If the MRI, CT scan and ultrasound all go well…. I will hopefully start monthly treatments in October or November.
Until then…. we continue to fight the battle and deal with symptoms as best as we can